When we think about “success,” we often think about rising to positions of responsibility, prominence, and financial reward. And we often attribute that kind of success to things like ambition, perseverance, and expertise.

But success is about a lot more than making the most of your intellect, talents, and creativity. It’s also about building strong, lasting relationships—personal and professional.

Relationships that yield a treasure trove of memories and experiences are rewarding in and of themselves. Learning how to build and foster lasting relationships will lead you toward your personal and professional bests. Whether you’re still working your way up the ladder or already sitting in the catbird seat, there are three (3) sure-fire ways to help build relationships at work and home.

First, listen. Yes, it’s a total cliché, but it’s true. Listen to your co-workers. Listen to those who report to you. Listen to your managers. Listen to your kids. Listen to your parents. Perhaps especially when—they disagree with you. No matter how old you are or how experienced you think you are. Why? Because you’re bound to learn something. After all, every person on earth has lived through a set of unique experiences you may never have. Even if you still disagree afterward, you’ll learn something about them, about you, about work relationships. In the end, you’ll earn (or retain) people’s respect—and their willingness to follow the direction the group decides to take.

Second, the crucial counterpart to listening is honesty. Everyone believes honesty is “the best policy,” but sometimes we throw that belief out the window when we think it will lead to hurt feelings or awkwardness. This inevitably ensures that problems repeat themselves. The trick is to learn how to be completely honest while being discreet and diplomatic. This requires real forethought about what you say.

Would you want someone to approach you about a problem? Find a personal hero in the art of sensitive, effective communication. When you get the words and delivery right, what could’ve been a headache turns into a profound learning experience that could change a co-worker’s life and career forever.

Third, none of this action will do any good if you don’t keep your word. When you say you’ve got some crucial part of the project covered, give it your all because you know the team is depending on you. When you promise to communicate the team’s concerns to management, be a dependable voice for those you represent instead of shrinking from a potentially daunting task. In good times and bad, keeping your word is an insurance policy.

Build a reputation for it and you’ll get your share of the reward and praise for successes, and people will give you the benefit of the doubt and go to bat for you when problems arise.

Besides increasing your ability to build trust and influence at work and at home, the biggest reason to make these three practices a habit is simply because they make life a lot easier—and more fulfilling.  Remember:

• Listen
• Be honest
• Keep your word

Adapted from an article I read some few years back.

There are a lot of skills you don’t need.  You can be happy and successful without knowing how to rebuild a car’s engine, program a web application, or replace drywall.  Sure, these are useful skills to have, but they aren’t absolutely necessary.

There are other skills, however, that can’t be avoided – skills that tie into various aspects of everyday life, that are not only useful, but totally indispensable.  For instance, you can’t get far in today’s world without being able to read or write.  And today the ability use a computer proficiently is simply assumed.

In this article we’re going to and discuss twelve slightly more advanced skills that are woefully under-taught, and universally applicable.  Let’s take a look…

1.  Prioritizing and time management. – If success depends on effective action, effective action depends on the ability to focus your attention where it is needed most, when it is needed most.  This is the ability to separate the important from the unimportant, which is a much needed skill in all walks of life, especially where there are ever increasing opportunities and distractions.

2.  Keeping a clean, organized space. – Successful people have systems in place to help them find what they need when they need it – they can quickly locate the information required to support their activities.  When you’re disorganized, that extra time spent looking for a phone number, email address or a certain file forces you to drop your focus.  Once it’s gone, it takes a while to get it back – and that’s where the real time is wasted.  Keeping both your living and working spaces organized is crucial.

3.  Critical thinking and information analysis. – We are living in the information age where, on a daily basis, we are constantly exposed to an ever growing and rapidly changing pool of information.  Being able to evaluate this information, sort the valuable from the trivial, analyze its relevance and meaning, and relate it to other information is a priceless skill with universal applicability.

4.  Logical, informed decision making. – Decision making is simply knowing what to do based on the information available.  Being able to respond quickly and effectively with the information you have in your head is essential to accomplishing anything.

5.  Using Google proficiently for online research. – You don’t have to know everything, but you should be able to quickly and painlessly find out what you need to know.  Google is a gateway to nearly infinite knowledge; it has indexed websites containing information on just about everything and everyone.  If you’re having trouble finding something using Google, it’s time to learn a few new tricks.

6. Basic accounting and money management. – It’s a simple fact that our modern society is governed by the constant exchange of money.  Money allows you to maintain a roof over your head and put food on the table each night.  Knowing how to properly manage your money – tracking and recording your expenses and income, saving and investing – is not only an important skill for thriving, it’s an important skill that helps you survive.

7. Effective communication and negotiating. – Give the people in your life the information they need rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.  Speak honestly, and then give others a voice and show them that their words matter.  And remember that compromise and effective negotiating are vital parts of effective communication.

8. Relaxation. – Stress leads to poor health, poor decision-making, poor thinking, and poor socialization.  So be attentive to your stress level and take short breaks when you need to.  Slow down.  Breathe.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity, and allow you to reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.

9.  Proficient writing and note-taking. – The written word isn’t going away; it is used in every walk of life.  Learning to write proficiently so that others can understand you is critical.  Also, using your writing skills to take useful notes is one of the most productive things you can do, regardless of the task at hand.  Writing things down – taking notes – helps us remember what we hear, see, or read when we’re learning something new, or trying to remember something specific.

10. Relationship networking. – In a world dominated by constant innovation and information exchange, relationship networking creates the channel through which ideas and information flow, and in which new ideas are shared, discussed and perfected.  A large relationship network, carefully cultivated, can be leveraged to meet the right people, find jobs, build businesses, learn about new trends, spread ideas, etc.

11. Positivity. – Research shows that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.  A great attitude always leads to great experiences.  People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.  Be positive, smile, and make it count.  Pretend today is going to be great.  Do so, and it will be.

12. Self-discipline. – Self-discipline is a skill.  It is the ability to focus and overcome distractions.  It involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment.  It often requires sacrificing the pleasure and thrill for what matters most in life.  Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to succeed in the long-term.

What did we miss?  What are some other useful life skills that are universally applicable?  Leave a comment below and let everyone know.

Adapted from Personal Excellence

Every day of my working week, I am being reminded how incredibly fortunate I am, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and good governance are the rights of everyone.

Every day, I see more evidence about the evils humankind can inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

One of the many things I have learnt in life was written by the Greek author Plutarch:  What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, and the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families/relations who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world; we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

OPEN YOUR MIND: It’s important to remain open to new ideas and new information. Being a know-it-all is like shutting the door to great discoveries and opportunities. Keep your door open every day to something new and energizing. These days, we don’t have many excuses for having a blind spot. We all have access to information with relatively little effort. Socrates is famed for having said, “There is only one thing I know, and that is I know nothing.” Pretty tough words coming from an esteemed scholar and philosopher, but it opened him up to more knowledge every day. In other words, start every day with a clean slate. Give yourself a new beginning by opening up your mind.

MY THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY: Many people are actually, three people. They think one thing, say something else, and do not what they say or think. These kinds of people, who are really three people, achieve limited success and live conflicted lives. The thoughts, words, and actions of successful people are integrated, congruent and operates as one